Justice & Fries

Things I Ate is a new segment (well, as new as blog with four posts to its name can get) about the various things that I have decided should go in my mouth. Obligatory jokes aside, I’ve been very willing, for as long as I can remember, to eat nearly anything that looks interesting. My mother tells me this started last year, luckily, I have no memory of anything since before then.

Which brings me to the first treat – Archer Farms S’mores Tortilla Chips. I am not making this up. Archer Farms is the somewhat more upscale Target brand. I find that they make excellent foods, including “Buffalo Chicken Macaroni” and a whole lot more.

Let me set the scene: I was walking through the grocery section at Target when I was beset upon by a most unnerving sight:

To continue, I have eaten many things: sea urchins…whale…horse…dog…fish eyeballs…etc. But I was somewhat perturbed by this. I’ve never considered S’Mores and CORN CHIPS to go together. So of course, after choking on my tongue for a moment, I did the bravest thing – I bought them.

For those of you who don’t remember, s’mores are made of, generally, chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers, mixed together with some fire. Not corn chips. But I decided that this was worth the struggle. And I made it about five steps out of Target before the bag was open and a chip was headed towards my mouth.

Basically, these look like tortilla chips covered in, for lack of a better word, brown. It’s cocoa power. They’re basically chocolate-dusted tortilla chips. I have no problem with brown foods, like chocolate or chocolate cake, which are often delicious. This was just…strange.

They smell of chocolate with a hint of marshmallow. And a LOT OF CORN. There’s no mistaking this – it’s a CORN CHIP COVERED IN CHOCOLATE (say that five times fast).

But the important thing is their taste. There are two competing tastes with these chips. First, you taste the chocolate (and maybe marshmallow and graham cracker), I mainly tasted the chocolate. And then you taste the tortilla. Remember, most of the product is that tortilla – the other flavors are sprinkled on. I don’t know how else to describe it other than to say that they’re somewhat chocolate flavored Tostitos.

Overall: Not bad, but I can only assume that the Archer Farms people were going “Hahaha, what STRANGE CONCOCTION will they buy next?” I’m betting on jalapeno-flavored tapioca pudding.

Still, I can’t wait to serve them to other people.