Justice & Fries

More coming soon - been busy working (and not eating out)

Things I Ate is a new segment (well, as new as blog with four posts to its name can get) about the various things that I have decided should go in my mouth. Obligatory jokes aside, I’ve been very willing, for as long as I can remember, to eat nearly anything that looks interesting. My mother tells me this started last year, luckily, I have no memory of anything since before then.

Which brings me to the first treat - Archer Farms S’mores Tortilla Chips. I am not making this up. Archer Farms is the somewhat more upscale Target brand. I find that they make excellent foods, including “Buffalo Chicken Macaroni” and a whole lot more.

Let me set the scene: I was walking through the grocery section at Target when I was beset upon by a most unnerving sight:

To continue, I have eaten many things: sea urchins…whale…horse…dog…fish eyeballs…etc. But I was somewhat perturbed by this. I’ve never considered S’Mores and CORN CHIPS to go together. So of course, after choking on my tongue for a moment, I did the bravest thing - I bought them.

For those of you who don’t remember, s’mores are made of, generally, chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers, mixed together with some fire. Not corn chips. But I decided that this was worth the struggle. And I made it about five steps out of Target before the bag was open and a chip was headed towards my mouth.

Basically, these look like tortilla chips covered in, for lack of a better word, brown. It’s cocoa power. They’re basically chocolate-dusted tortilla chips. I have no problem with brown foods, like chocolate or chocolate cake, which are often delicious. This was just…strange.

They smell of chocolate with a hint of marshmallow. And a LOT OF CORN. There’s no mistaking this - it’s a CORN CHIP COVERED IN CHOCOLATE (say that five times fast).

But the important thing is their taste. There are two competing tastes with these chips. First, you taste the chocolate (and maybe marshmallow and graham cracker), I mainly tasted the chocolate. And then you taste the tortilla. Remember, most of the product is that tortilla - the other flavors are sprinkled on. I don’t know how else to describe it other than to say that they’re somewhat chocolate flavored Tostitos.

Overall: Not bad, but I can only assume that the Archer Farms people were going “Hahaha, what STRANGE CONCOCTION will they buy next?” I’m betting on jalapeno-flavored tapioca pudding.

Still, I can’t wait to serve them to other people.

“OMG.”

That’s the only way to describe how good the food is here. I believe I said it about 15 times within the first taste of dinner (as well as the assorted longer variations of the phrase), and clearly, I disagree with whatever the Philadelphia Weekly food critic said badly about it.

To begin, the service was impeccable. I didn’t have to ask for anything during the meal - appetizers, desserts, and water were all provided (I’m presuming that the gratis appetizer and dessert are to convince people to make return trips because the location is newly opened).The restaurant is clean, well lit, and has a bit of ambiance, although it feels a bit empty despite having a lot of tables. The only way to describe it is…well, it reminds me of Chinese restaurants in the suburbs - a lot of open space but not much to distract you from the food or whomever you might be dining with. The room itself is light pink, white tablecloths, overwhelming chandeliers, and a few Indian knick-knacks on the walls.

Upon sitting down, the waiter brought us out three “dips” and crispy bread. I believe that this was papadam, but I neglected to write down the types of dip and the type of bread, for which I apologize. Since this isn’t on the menu, I have a feeling that this is King of Tandoor’s version of a basket of bread, which was actually most appreciated. In addition, we ordered the Samosas ($3.50/2), which were good, but not particularly memorable. Mainly in the sense that I couldn’t remember them once the main course came out and I kept going “OMG, OMG, OMG.”

For the main course, I ordered the Chicken Tikka Makhanee ($12.95), my companion had the Lamb Dumpahkt ($13.95). We also ordered an order of regular Naan ($2.50) and Garlic Naan ($3.25). The naan, like all bread, is baked in the tanoor over, and was crisp, a little buttery, and definitely not overbaked. The bubbles in the bread (where air pockets built up in baking) didn’t crack and shatter, rather, they were soft and added to the texture. Note that they aren’t kidding when they say garlic naan.

The Lamb Dumpahkt is a dish, closest in description to a “lamb pot pie,” cooked in dumpahkt (casserole) with a pastry crust on the outside. The crust is inflated by the steam inside; it contains the scent of the dish (delightful) and the heat (hot, at least in temperature). The star of my night, though, was the Chicken Tikka Makhanee. This deserves special mention, because I am in love with what the Indian restaurants in Tokyo call butter chicken curry. I had no idea that it had a better, more Indian name, and was extremely surprised and delighted when the chicken tikka makhanee came out and it was my beloved butter chicken curry. And it was LIGHT YEARS BEYOND what I had elsewhere. The flavor burst out of the hammered metal bowl; combined with the naan, it was honestly fantastic - the marinated and barbequed chicken in the sauce (which had a hint of almond in it) is delightful and I have been urging people to head to King of Tandoor for that alone.

After the main course was cleared, we were ready to depart, when our waiter brought us a complimentary order of Firni (normally $2.95), an Indian rice pudding flavored with rose water. Although unexpected, it was not unappreciated, and cleansed our mouths from the sensuous spices and flavors from the earlier courses, and was a terrific ending to the meal.

King of Tandoor is located at 1824 Callowhill St., Philadelphia, PA 19130. The phone number is (215) 568-0750; website located at www.kingoftandoor.com. Online ordering is coming soon.

Presto!, located in Margate, NJ, may be the best place you will ever eat gnocchi. Those of you who have seen me eat know that my normal dish at any Italian restaurant is gnocchi. At Presto, gnocchi…well, it’s BIG!.

Presto! (and I hear they are to move into the old Lamberti’s location by the bay) is a small storefront located well down Ventnor Avenue, on the way to Longport. There’s seating for about 40 people, and it is well attended by owners Lori and David Salvo. I first went before Memorial Day weekend, so I had a chance to speak with Lori, who told me two things about Presto! -

1. David makes the gnocchi secretly, hidden in a private room in the kitchen, so that no one can see what he does, and
2. They don’t take reservations, even from recurring customers - it’s first come, first seated.

However, the reason this is a “Quick Hit” is because the only thing I have to write about is the gnocchi. All my co-diners were delighted by their dishes; I was DELIGHTED by the gnocchi. Served in a blush sauce, the gnocchi are gigantic - each one is about three inches long by about two inches wide, and light and fluffy like a pillow. There are about 10-11 pieces, I believe, on the plate, and each piece, as I mentioned, is hand-rolled secretly.

Whatever the secret may be…it’s delightful.

Presto! is located at 9307 Ventnor Avenue, Margate. The phone number is (609) 823-8989 - you can call ahead for pickup but remember, bring cash and there are no reservations.

For my first post, I was originally going to write about the tasty - but not at all exciting - brunch I had at Devil’s Alley this morning (Devil’s Alley is located at 1907 Chestnut St. in Philadelphia). But then I realized that it was far more important to discuss In-N-Out Burger, which isn’t found anywhere near Philadelphia. It’s even more important because Kate over at Philly Food And Drink recently wrote about her experiences there.

They’re all true. In-N-Out Burger is amazing, as far as fast-food hamburgers go. I was out in California (there’s not a single one located East of Arizona) and stopped in multiple locations - San Jose, San Francisco, Palo Alto, Woodland Hills, Orange County - and it’s always hot, fresh, and delicious.

The hamburgers are much…tastier than their competition, the McDonalds and Burger Kings. It’s clear that In-N-Out focuses on their quality. The staff is quite attentive - in Woodland Hills, I was shorted a burger, and somehow ended up receiving a milkshake as an apology.

They can be so good because they only have four food menu items…Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Double-Double (double meat, double buns), and Fries. That’s if you don’t know how to order. In-N-Out has a substantial “secret” menu that everyone knows about. Outside of the typical special items, like the Animal Style Fries (covered in “secret sauce, cheese and onions”) and the Flying Dutchman (two patties, cheese…and nothing else), the staff there will do anything to a burger that you want. That’s right - the staff there can actually make anything you want if you describe it to them.

I’ve been out that way four times now - twice in California and twice in Las Vegas - and the most important thing for me (other than seeing my friends and family) is to get my In-N-Out.

Secret Funny Story: A friend from California, when we were younger, once told me: “I’m sick of boys, I’m swearing off sex and boys for a year!” A week later, we were talking, and she started telling me about how amazing her “in-and-out” was with “Brian.”

My immediate response was “I thought you swore off sex!” She laughed for a full ten minutes - I had never heard of In-N-Out in 1997, being a life-long Jersey boy.